Sexual Purity

Back in high school I attended a “True Love Waits” conference. It was fun, Iota and Kingpin Wrecking Crew (two local Maine bands) were there and a few known leaders from the community. I remember how on fire I was for God back then. When I was under persecution, when it wasn't okay to be different. On my sixteenth birthday my parents got me a “True Love Waits” ring, it was my promise ring. To save sex for marriage, not that popular these days. I'm proud that my wife and I waited for marriage. On several occasions I've been in a conversation where people are talking about when they lost their virginity. Most people I've talked to lost it when they were between the ages of twelve to fifteen. When it comes to my turn, I have no shame in saying that I gave it away to my wife after we got married. There was a point in time, where I would be having these same conversations and my response would be, “I'm still a virgin.” Yes, I would get made fun of, but I wasn't having the same issues others were. Becoming a parent when I wasn't ready and getting nasty diseases. And some would look at me with amazement, and say they were proud of me, these people were non-believers.
Again, I'm proud of my wife and I, but the reason I am writing this isn't to talk about saving sex for marriage. This is actually talked about throughout the church and even outside the church. Instead, I'm here to talk about a bigger problem for staying sexually pure. A topic that most avoid because it is uncomfortable to talk about. This topic is pornography.
Yes I saved sex for marriage, but my eyes were not pure. My eyes were first exposed to pornography in third grade. From there it was planted in my mind. And I would end up being addicted to pornography down the road. It hurt my marriage, it hurt my friends and family. It hurt God.
I want to let the world know that pornography is not okay. It's not okay to look at another woman with lust, it's not okay to look at another man with lust. Yet, it can be found anywhere. It can be found online, it can be found at your local corner store. It can be found at grocery stores and gas stations. It is everywhere! I'm tired of it, I'm trying to be faithful to my wife and God. But everywhere I go it's there! I know I'm not the only man trying to flee temptation. And in the past I have not been successful in fleeing. Which means I'm not the only man not successful.
Currently I'm deployed. Pornography although illegal is like kids trading baseball cards. I won't mention people on here, because I'm not for getting people in trouble. But know, that in our first general order for being deployed it is illegal to posses pornography, but it's everywhere.
I'm so thankful for forgiveness, for God's forgiveness and especially my wife's forgiveness. I'm thankful for the prayers of my brothers at church and all my other brothers praying for me. I'm thankful for my wife's prayers. I'm thankful for your prayers.
Now to wrap this up. I've talked to my wife about this before but don't know how to go about it. I want to fight back against the pornography industry. I want to get it off the shelves of our stores, I want to get it offline. But living in this world, this world of sin. I know this will be hard, nearly impossible. I don't know where to start, and this is where you come in. I want to know how to stop this. Starting at the small level, starting on our store shelves. If you now how to start this process, please let me know. Or just go ahead and start it.
One last thing, if you are struggling with sexual purity. Talk to a friend, talk to a brother or sister. But there is also a group from one of my old churches in Colorado Springs called, “Pure Rebellion.” Check out there site.
Again, thanks to all for the prayers. God bless, and continue strong in the faith.

The Little Things

As most of you already know I'm in Afghanistan. I've been away from my family for a month now and it hasn't been fun. I miss them so much and hate the fact that I can't come home kick my boots off hug and kiss my wife and daughter. I can't play with my dog or go to church with my family. Instead, I'm stuck out here wondering when they are going to authorize us to shoot the rabies infested dogs that chase us around. I get hugs from some of the crazy guys I came over here with. I'm not going to complain that I'm over here, because I expected it. After all, I joined in a time of war. I joined because of the war that was going to come after 9-11. But I am going to list a few things that I miss, that I took for granted back home.

My family, I miss them so much. Being able to come home and see your wife smile, unless your daughter was a demon then she is scolding and pointing at your daughter saying, "It’s yours." But I even miss that. I miss seeing a smile on my daughters face as she looks at me across the room then runs away because she is shy and gets embarrassed to show her love for me. I miss my dog that is usually first to the door and the last to get greeted by me. I miss being able to cuddle my wife watching anything from Glee to Battleship. I miss my daughter when she is upset and nothing but "nuggling" daddy will fix it.

I miss being able to go outside, wear my ipod and comfortable shorts and not having to tuck my shirt into those shorts and going for a run.

I miss my church. I have a church here, but its ran by the military. The chaplains try to do their best but are restricted by the federal government on what they can say and do. And I can't wait to come home and be a part of my church. Not just someone that attends it. I can't wait to give back, be a part of the youth group. Start a men’s group with Drew and a couple other guys.


I miss being able to play my Xbox. Not going to lie, I do miss it. It was something I was able to do to just unwind, whether it was watching something by myself or with my wife or playing a game.

I miss the luxury of time.

I miss my toilet.

I miss clean running water. Water that I can go into the bathroom and brush my teeth with and not a bottle of water.

I miss 20 minute showers.

I miss having shampoo and body wash all the time.

I miss the time I had away from the guys I work with.

I miss the fellowship I had.

I miss the Waymans, our extended family.

I miss my home group.

I miss hanging out with Chris and Claire and having all the holidays in one night.

These are just some of the things I miss. But, I will sacrifice them because I believe that God has called me to the army. So therefore God has called me to make these sacrifices and I am right where God wants me. I am in His will and doing His work for the kingdom.

Please pray for God to continually break and test me. I have not been broken in a long time. I feel I have hardened my heart because the army requires me to so I can turn on what my wife calls "Soldier Mode." I just need to be able to turn it off. I feel it’s been on for the last few years including my personal life. I want God to break me to the point where he can start molding me into the man I'm supposed to be. I'm tired of just living; I want to live for Him and Him alone. I want to be able to live and on a daily basis have people look at my life and have absolutely no doubt that I serve the Lord Jesus Christ. I want people to know that I love Him, and through His love I am saved and they can too.

Please keep my guys and I in your prayers. Thanks to all who support us. I love you Kate, stay safe and stay strong. Love you Aliyah.